Happy New Year!

Happy New Year to all of you!!
May the year 2009 bring us all amazingly good things.

Ice + Snow = COLD!!!

Snow is a rarity here in the Great Northwest. So rare that I can count on one hand how many times it has snowed int he past 4 years. Four years ago we had a decent amount of snow - a couple inches a couple times during the course of the winter. Three years it was a smattering. Two years we had one really good snowfall that amounted to maybe two inches. Last year, it was a smattering.

When I say "smattering" what I really mean is snow flakes fell from the sky for a small time but besides lightly covering the grass, it amounted to nothing.

This year we were hoping for snow. Really, really hoping for snow. And guess what? We got it. I have about 12 inches in my yard right now. They have called an end to "the weekend storm" but predict another storm to come through on Wednesday leaving 1-6 inches more. Then we should warm up to above freezing because, oh yes, we've been far below freezing. Right now we're sitting at 25 degrees which I'm sure sounds not all that bad to anyone *not* from here but seriously? This is cold for us. We just don't get this cold. Maybe once a year for a few days we dip down into the lows 20's, maybe into the teens, but we don't stay there for very long.

We've been this cold for longer than I remember in recent years.

I'm not complaining. Not really. I love snow and I think it's great we have it to play in. I'm bummed that it's the week of Christmas but not for me. I'm sad for people who are stuck at the airport or stranded on closed highways. I'm sad for friends who had plans to be somewhere else for Christmas and are now stuck here. I know someone who did all their shopping and had it shipped to her mom's house only now....she can't get out. It's sad and I feel bad for all of them.

My Christmas planned aren't affected so much. We will still have Christmas morning here at home. Sure, we might not be able to get together with the extended family for Christmas dinner but for us, it's not hard to reschedule that event as everyone lives pretty close to each other.

We are scheduled to leave town a couple days after Christmas to visit my side of the family and we might have to postpone that but even that isn't the end of the world for us. Inconvenient, yes but completely doable if it needs to be. So all in all, we're lucky. We're home, safe and warm. We have all the kids gifts wrapped and ready. Santa will come as planned. It's all good.

I cannot remember a year in my lifetime when it was a "White Christmas" (though photos say it was the year I was born). I'm actually excited by the prospect.

But there is a part of me that feels guilty for loving the snow so much when I know people are hurting because of it. *sigh*

Auto Bailout

A friend sent this to me and I have to say....it made me laugh...then cringe...and then nod my head. Yep. That about sums it up.

PS...click on it so you can read the tiny print. :)

Eat a Frog

I love this short movie from Simple Truths called Eat That Frog. There is a saying that if you eat a frog first thing in the morning, nothing worse will happen all day.

They then go on to explain that the biggest, most daunting thing on your To Do list is your frog and if you do it first thing, it's done and everything else on your list will get done easily. It gives you energy to do the rest of the stuff.

There is also a line in there about the things we avoid drain all our energy without us even being aware it is doing so. How true is that? I am never more tired and drained than when I have a huge To Do list and it seems, or maybe just one thing on it seems, to big to do.

William James, one of the founders of Modern Psychology said this: Procrastination is attitudes natural assassin. There is nothing so fatiguing than an uncompleted task.

So what are you waiting for? Go eat your frog!

A New Coffee Pot!

I have a new coffee pot. Well - technically new. It's been sitting in a box in the garage for the past three years but this is the first time I've used it. I had a cute 10 cup Krups pot that I adored but lately it started leaking as it brewed. I put up with it for as long as I could but when it started leaking half the pot on the counter I knew it was time to bid it farewell and move on. I mean seriously. In my world it's a crime against nature to mess with my caffeine.

And so dump it I did.

I located the box with my "free when you purchase Gevalia coffee" coffee pot and unwrapped it. It is stainless steel and actually quite pretty. It has a clock, auto-brew and auto-shutoff but the most important feature it has? A bigger pot! Bigger by TWO CUPS! I'm in freakin' hog heaven!!

So this morning, when Dakota started the coffee to jump start her final, I didn't have to think unkind thoughts about her drinking up "all" the coffee - there was plenty to share. Twelve glorious cups of the magic stuff.

Makes me wonder why I never bothered to open the box before now. :)

Coffee anyone? I have enough to share now.

Care for some more salt for that wound?

I have a birthday coming and while I love that I get to have another birthday because it means I am still alive and kicking, I am kind of bothered that I just keep getting older.

Which is why the following situation was a big hard to take.

The other night at a store, as I was buying a bunch of bath stuff to be used for stocking stuffers for the kids, I placed my items on the belt. The checker, in her mid-20's and pregnant, looked at my stuff and ever so casually asked:

"Are you getting ready to have the grandkids over?"

*THUD*

I stammered a bit before finding my ground and replied "Umm..no. These are for my kids."

She takes a long look at me and I can feel her calculating my (almost) 44 years. She says "Oh - I'm sorry."

Yeah. Yeah I'm sure you are.

Sheesh!!

Ok ...once I stepped back and could look at it without feeling incredibly insulted, I can see where she figured I was probably her mom's age. Which....if she was in her mid-20's probably means her mom is.....*drum roll please* my age. OUCH! It's been years since I have been asked if I'm the kids grandmother...and I will be happy not to have to deal with that question again for many more.

Happy (almost) Birthday to me. *sigh*

Pass the Geritol, please.

Lost Teeth

My baby boy, not really all that much of a baby anymore since he is 6.5 years old, lost both his front teeth last night. Two. Within an hour of each other. He was so happy and proud and couldn't wait for his reward from the Tooth Fairy because surely two teeth in one night must be a record and there just had to be money to be made by breaking a record. He did make out quite well....$6.00 which he woke us at 1:20AM to help him find. :)

I, while happy for him, am saddened by the lose of his baby teeth. I now have undeniable proof that my baby is growing up. Losing his bottom two teeth didn't hit me the same way. I was sad because they were part of his babyhood but this time it almost broke my heart.

I don't want him to grow up so quickly. I'm not ready but then I guess I probably will never be ready. Growing up means moving ever so far away from his need for his mommy and while I know a person always needs their mommy (exhibit A would be my own experience) it's just not the same as a child needing their mommy. I can't help but look down the path and see what these two lost teeth mean the scheme of things. Older, wiser, taller, broader...a different voice, a changed face.

I want to hold my baby tight for a while longer. No - scratch that, I want to hold my baby tight forever.

Everyone says he looks adorable with his missing teeth and I'm sure they must be right. I just can't see it. I can't yet see beyond the "He looks so different. So much older." part. He is so proud though and I certainly can't rob him of that so I keep silent with my sadness and congratulate him, tease him a little and hug him tight. I turn away just a little so he won't see the tears sitting in the corner of my eyes which, while threatening to fall, I hold back with all my might.

My baby. My son. Growing up so damn fast.

The Invisible Mother

I often feel invisible - like no one really "sees" me or how much I do in a single day. Not just the chores and errands (though honestly those go unappreciated which is true for mothers around the world and throughout the generations) but the shaping and molding of little lives. The never ceasing love, the hugs and kisses, the help with learning, the playing (even when I would so much rather not play but I do because I know play is important for the kids), the discipline....the heart break as the children grow away from me in untold ways (which yes, is what they are supposed to do but it hurts just the same but I still have to let them do it even though I would rather hold them back)...all of it.

There are millions and trillions of tiny and big ways I work for the good of my family and I love it....but sometimes, I really do feel invisible.

So here's to all of you who, at times, feel the same. Enjoy!

(I don't know the author....but I know, sure as heck, it wasn't me. *grin*)

It all began to make sense, the blank stares, the lack of response, the way one of the kids will walk into the room while I'm on the phone and ask to be taken to the store. Inside I'm thinking, 'Can't you see I'm on the phone?'
Obviously, not.

No one can see if I'm on the phone, or cooking, or sweeping the floor, or even standing on my head in the corner, because no one can see me at all. I'm invisible. The invisible Mom. Some days I am only a pair of hands, nothing more: Can you fix this? Can you tie this? & Can you open this?

Some days I'm not a pair of hands; I'm not even a human being. I'm a clock to ask, 'What time is it?'; I'm a satellite guide to answer, 'What number is the Disney Channel?' I'm a car to order, 'Right around 5:30, please.'

One night, a group of us were having dinner, celebrating the return of a friend from England .
Janice had just gotten back from a fabulous trip , and she was going on and on about the hotel she stayed in. I was sitting there, looking around at the others all put together so well. It was hard not to compare and feel sorry for myself. I was feeling pretty pathetic, when Janice turned to me with a beautifully wrapped package, and said, 'I brought you this.'
It was a book on the great cathedrals of Europe . I wasn't exactly sure why she'd given it to me until I read her inscription:
'To Charlotte , with admiration for the greatness of what you are building when no one sees.'

In the days ahead I would read - no, devour - the book. And I would discover what would become for me, four life-changing truths, after which I could pattern my work:
*No one can say who built the great cathedrals - we have no record of their names.
*These builders gave their whole lives for a work they would never see finished.
*They made great sacrifices and expected no credit.
*The passion of their building was fueled by their faith that the eyes of God saw everything.

A legendary story in the book told of a rich man who came to visit the cathedral while it was being built, and he saw a workman carving a tiny bird on the inside of a beam. He was puzzled and asked the man, 'Why are you spending so much time carving that bird into a beam that will be covered by the roof? No one will ever see it.' And the workman replied, 'Because God sees.'

I closed the book, feeling the missing piece fall into place. It was almost as if I heard God whispering to me, 'I see you, Charlotte . I see the sacrifices you make every day, even when no one around you does. No act of kindness you've done, no sequin you've sewn on, no cup cake you've baked, is too small for me to notice and smile over. You are building a great cathedral, but you can't see right now what it will become.'

At times, my invisibility feels like an affliction. But it is not a disease that is erasing my life.
It is the cure for the disease of my own self-centeredness. It is the antidote to my strong, stubborn pride.
I keep the right perspective when I see myself as a great builder. As one of the people who show up at a job that they will never see finished, to work on something that their name will never be on.

When I really think about it, I don't want my daughter to tell the friend she's bringing home from college for Thanksgiving, 'My Mom gets up at 4 in the morning and bakes homemade pies, and then she hand bastes a turkey for three hours and presses all the linens for the table.' That would mean I'd built a shrine or a monument to myself. I just want her to want to come home. And then, if there is anything more to say to her friend, to add, 'you're gonna love it there.'

As mothers, we are building great cathedrals. We cannot see if we're doing it right.
And one day, it is very possible that the world will marvel, not only at what we have built, but at the beauty that has been added to the world by the sacrifices of invisible women.

Boys vs. Girls??

Maybe it's hard-coded into DNA but seriously....my kids are being taught the exact same things. I don't say "Hey son - the rules are different for you since you're a boy." and I don't say "daughter - you have different rules because you're a girl." I really don't....and yet.....

Why is it that my daughter can put the toilet seat lid down when she is done (un-prompted, mind you) and yet at least once a day I have to have my son return to the bathroom to close the lid?

And why oh why can my 3.5 year old daughter change the roll of toilet paper *by herself* but my 6.5 year old son will just leave the empty roll for someone else to change?

It just has to be genetics.

Feeling My Age

"Mom? Will you type in the address to get me to that site where I could play that truck game?"

*Mom walks over to the computer and begins to type*

www.

"Did you know that you don't have to type in that part?"

"What part?" asks Mom.

"That 'www' part. You don't need it. You can just type in the address part like pbskids.org. You don't have to put the www part."

"Yeah - I knew that but it's habit. I just always do."

"My teacher says that's the old fashioned way."

*end scene*

Awesome. I'm "old fashioned". *sigh* Oh - and did you know that they teach 6 year olds how to Google things? I kid you not. My son is Googling. Not sure how I feel about that.

Man I'm old.